By Aseel Barghuthi,
Amman Baccalaureate School,
Amman, Jordan.

I've finally decided to commit to one of the Jordanian club teams. I am now a member of a team called "Orthodoxi."

I must say it's taken me a while to muster up enough confidence to actually put myself in a court with highly talented basketball players. I'm so used to being the leading player on my squad, that starting from square one with a club team scares me.

I have to prove myself all over again. The club coach never saw me hit four three's in one quarter, he never saw me bring my team back from an 8 point deficit, up to a 7 point win. It feels odd to be starting ALL over again.

So here I am....at square one.... in a court filled with talented, skilled, and hard-working players. I've forgotten what's it like to be the new girl. I've also forgotten what it's like to have to work your tail off to get to the starting five. I don't even know if I'll ever be on this club team's starting five. All I know is that I need to prove that I'm starter material.

The one thing that's really great, though, is that I really like the girls on the team. They're all so friendly and welcoming, and the transition into the team is so much easier because of that. It's difficult to adjust to a new team, and I'm beginning to feel like playing with the club team is going to prepare me for my transition to college basketball next year.

Starting out with a new team is always hard, because you're unsure of yourself, unsure of your teammates, and unsure of your abilities. I think the time has now come for me to actually question how good of a player I really am.

The good thing about living in a country as small as Jordan is that if you're a good player, then everyone knows it. So, that makes it a little bit easier when starting out with a new team. And something about this team feels right. It feels like I've always belonged. Fitting in with my teammates has been sweet, and simple. You could almost say It's like I've been on the team for years.

But it makes me sad to think that I never really took the time to consider joining this club team sooner. My mom says that when I asked her if I could join a club team (when I was a freshman in high school) she refused to let me, simply because my grades weren't good enough. I guess that's fate for you. I've often wondered how my game would've been affected had I began a long time ago.

But there's four months left until basketball camp at Duke University, where I'll be heading next fall and trying to make the team as a walk-on. That will truly be the biggest test of my basketball career. So, now's the time when I should really begin to question myself, my abilities, my dedication, and my skill.

I always sit and think to myself, if I don't do so great at camp, will the players and coaches be able to see, behind the missed layups and freethrows, the player that I really am? A dedicated player. A fulfilled player. A determined player. Will they see, behind my not quite so perfect hook shot, the countless games where I helped my team out? I think not... which is exactly what I'm trying to say.

There's no one out there that knows how good you are‹except for yourself. You know deep inside just how much more you can run, just how many more shots you can shoot, and just how much more you can take. The great players show their stuff when they need to. They are great every single day. They rise to the occasion when they have to.

I know what I can do. I've done it over and over in my backyard, swish after swish after swish. Now, all I have to do is prove to everyone else out there that I have what it takes ...and I'm more than willing to take it to the next level.

#68, Aseel

Aseel Barghuthi is in her senior year at Amman Baccalaureate School, in the country of Jordan, where she plays both point guard and shooting guard on the school team. She has also lived in the United States (Athens, Georgia) and England. To contact Aseel with any comments or suggestions, e-mail her at aseel@index.com.jo