By Aseel Barghuthi,
Amman Baccalaureate School,
Amman, Jordan.

Have any of you ever felt like you're a little too competitive for your own good? That maybe you're taking the shoot-around too seriously??

Well that's a problem I've had for almost all of my life. I simply thrive on competition. From a friendly game of cards, to racing to the car, it's all a competition to me.

People have often complained that my competitive nature is exhausting, and at times, annoying. I can't help it! I mean, sports are about competition, and after all, I'm about sports.

I don't think my competitive nature will ever diminish, but I do admit that I learned one really valuable lesson that changed my thinking on what competition is really all about. It was back in ninth grade, but it's a truth that I still think about a lot, and one that I know I'll carry with me forever ...

In my ninth grade class, I was pretty much the most advanced student in the class. Having just returned to Jordan from an American school in Georgia, I should have been placed in a high level English class, but the school had somehow got confused and placed me in the English as a second language class.

Due to my misplacement, I consistently complained to my teacher and parents that I be moved to the class with English as a first language. But the complaints were to no avail, as the higher class was full.

Now, being the ultracompetitive person that I am, I realized that there was no one to strive to be better than, and thus I let my grades slump. I knew that even if I didn't try too hard, I would still at the top of the class. I wouldn't have to try too hard to get a good grade. There was no real incentive to strive for that A+.

When I'd lift my hand up after completing an essay or worksheet, Mrs. Billie Alameda, for that was my teacher's name, would often frown at me from behind her large white-rimmed glasses, and ask me if I wanted to check my paper a couple more times before handing it in. Of course I ignored her words of warning, and I'd hand in the paper, careless mistakes and all.

Upon correcting my paper she would sigh and write the letters CWY. I had no idea what CWY meant, but I just assumed it was something she wrote on marked papers or something that Engligh teachers just do. And so the days went by, and more and more papers were marked, and more and more CWY's were seen in red on essays and worksheets alike.

The day before school let out for the first term, Mrs. Alameda gave me a photocopy of a short story, and she told me she had written a little letter on the back of the last page. I thanked her, yet thought it slightly odd for her to be doing such things for me. A couple of days went by, and I was caught up in the rush of being eligible to do absolutely nothing but shoot hoops to my hearts desire. The story lay unforgotten in my bottom drawer, along with marked book reports, essays, worksheets, quizzes, tests, complete with CWY's and all.

The winter break went by as quickly as most breaks do, and it was almost time for school again. One fairly uneventful day found me cleaning out the dust from my forgotten school books. It was then that I found the forgotten story, and the letter on the back of the story. Now the story was fairly normal, no hidden intentions behind it, but the letter ... the letter changed my outlook on a lot of things, and until this day the words in the letter echo in the back of my mind.

"COMPETE WITH YOURSELF"

Mrs. Billie taught me that even if you're the greatest of the great, the best of the best, or on top of the world, you don't need other people to compete with. It is by competing with yourself that you find the greatest success.

Of course, I never did transfer to the higher level class. I eventually became content with the class I was in. Being around people with lower abilities than yourself does not mean you have to stop trying to better yourself, I realized. This, which came after a couple of C's and B-minus grades, gave me the confidence I needed to compete against my greatest critic--myself. I began to push myself to the limit, and was excited about trying harder and harder each and every time.

I don't race my friends to the car anymore--and I don't compare myself to other people. Because no matter how hard I try, I will always be me, and the only way that "me" is going to improve is if "me" wants to improve, the right way.

Perhaps competition is indeed a way of life, after all, it does constitute one of the main aspects of team sports. But to develop as an individual, one must first learn to compete with oneself. You may make eight out of 10 free-throws at practice today, better than everyone else on the team. But that doesn't make you the best. Being the best is making all 10 free throws, regardless of who you beat, and when you beat them.

So, you see, it doesn't matter who you're surrounded with, all that matters is that you believe in yourself, and in your ability to improve, period. Letting my grades drop simply because I wasn't in a competitive atmosphere was perhaps the silliest thing I've ever done. But I now know that in the long run, grades, or a perfected three point shot, won't affect the girl you scored higher than on SAT's, or the girl you beat at H-O-R-S-E. But it will affect you, as a person, as an individual, and as a hoopster.

Poem of the Day: For basketball, and for life, It is my very mission, to inform the world that there's nothing wrong with a little competition. But competition must not hinder development, and to ourselves we must be true, By understanding that improvement, comes solely from being you.

#68, Aseel

Aseel Barghuthi is in her senior year at Amman Baccalaureate School, in the country of Jordan, where she plays both point guard and shooting guard on the school team. She has also lived in the United States (Athens, Georgia) and England. To contact Aseel with any comments or suggestions, e-mail her at aseel@index.com.jo

Illustration by Farah Al-jundi